I simply love the fact that we get to enjoy hearing lots of fabulous wedding readings when we play for ceremonies! Some have me crying, some have me laughing, some have me doing both. I totally love my job!
I have lots of inspiration from weddings to share with you. Here are some of the more light hearted readings we heard…some quite a few times.
At the top of the list it most certainly has to be by Pam Ayres:
Yes, I’ll marry you – Pam Ayres
Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,
And here’s the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it’s creepy and it’s late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.
Yes I’ll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It’s you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It’s you that has to whack him.
Yes, I’ll marry you,
You’re virile and you’re lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!
It’s you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!
He never leaves the seat up – Anon
He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!
She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!
He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!
He romances her and dines her
Home cooked dinners and the like
He even knows her favourite food
And spoils her day and night!
She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!
He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?
She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!
They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!
All that said and done
They love the time they spent together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.
He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.
Wedding cake recipe reading
1/2 lb good looks
1lb sweet temper
1lb butter of youth
1lb blindness of faults
1lb of wit
1lb good humour
2lb of sweet argument
1 pint of rippling laughter
1 wine glass of common sense
a dash of modesty
Put the love good looks and a sweet temper into a well furnished house.
Beat the butter of youth into a cream,
and mix well together with the blindness of faults.
Stir the wit and good humour into the sweet argument
then add the rippling laughter and common sense.
Work the whole thing together until everything is well mixed,
and bake gently forever.
When Harry met Sally – Excerpt
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
I’ll be there – Louise Cuddon
I’ll be there, my darling,
Through thick and through thin
When your mind is a mess
When your head’s in a spin
When your plane’s been delayed
When you’ve missed the last train
When life is just threatening
To drive you insane
When your thrilling whodunit
Has lost its last page
When somebody tells you
You’re looking your age
When your coffee’s too cool
And your wine too warm
When the forecast said ‘Fine’
But you’re out in a storm
When you ordered the Korma
But got the Madras
When you wake in the night
And are sure you smell gas
When your quick-break hotel
Is more like a slum
And your holiday photos
Show only your thumb
When you park for five minutes
In a resident’s bay
And return to discover
You’ve been towed away
When the jeans that you bought
In hope or in haste
Stick on your hips
And won’t reach around your waist
When the dentist looks into
Your mouth and just sighs
When your heroes turn out
To be wimps in disguise
When the food that you most like
Brings you out in red rashes
When as soon as you boot up
The bloody thing crashes
When you’re in extra time
And the other team scores
When someone informs you
There’s no Santa Claus
When you gaze at the stars
And step on a nail
When you know you’ll succeed
But, somehow, you fail
When your horoscope tells you
You’ll have a good day
So you ask for a rise
And your boss says ‘No way’
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear….
When you spill your beer
When you shed a tear
When you burn the toast
When you miss the post
When you lose the plot
When I’m all you’ve got
When you break a rule
When you act the fool
When you’ve got the flu
When you’re in a stew
When you’re last in the queue
Don’t feel blue
‘Cause I’m telling you
I’ll be there
I’ll be there
I’ll be there for you.
Hope you enjoyed them!!
Ariella x
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